The Scholar's Cat

You probably didn't know this, but yesterday was a random arbitrary national holiday celebrating cats!

Happy (belated) National Cat Day!

The holiday actually lines up perfectly with a new little addition to my home life...

This is Gracie.
My family got her when I was 9, and she has been with us ever since.

I can still remember the night she became ours. Our other cat Maggie had recently died in the most dignified way possible. Out in the woods behind our house, alone. Cats often leave their homes to die peacefully by themselves when they sense their time, which I imagine is part of their solitary nature. And in a way I think it's kind of nice she didn't subject me and my six year old sister to finding her corpse somewhere in the house. Yet, my sister and I were still holding out hope that she had merely gotten lost, and that she'd be back. Which is exactly what we thought was happening when, two weeks later, we heard a meowing in our garage.
Before my Dad could stop us, Caroline and I leapt up from the coffee table where we were playing Yahtzee and opened the door to see a slightly timid and very beautiful cream and grey cat with ice-blue eyes and a raccoon-striped tail. Not exactly a kitten, but clearly very young, the cat we came to call Gracie tentatively entered out family room and accepted some of the food we'd been feeding Maggie before she died. For some inexplicable reason, my parents gave into our begging, and let her stay in the house overnight. That night she slept on the foot of my bed all night long (something Maggie had NEVER done, no matter how much I wanted her to). Although we made a concerted effort to find her true owners (giving her a stray period in the local shelter and asking all of our neighbors) from then on, she was really our cat.  

Gracie was a better cat than Maggie. Maggie was NOT a fan of the kids in the house, and avoided  us to seek her quiet boring lifestyle on the couch instead. She would not play with us, didn't like being pet by us, and was quick to snap if we pushed her too far (I can remember being hissed at on more than one occasion). It's no wonder that around this time I was begging for a dog, who could withstand our rough-housing and could learn actual tricks. But Gracie more than tolerated our antics. She caught mice and chased birds for our entertainment on more than one occasion, catching them and letting them go. She was always ready to play, and loved attention from us of any kind. When I went to college, my Mom reported her sleeping on my bed while I was away, and she always remembered and recognized me when I came home.

When my Mom moved away from Michigan however, she made the decision that driving across the country wouldn't be so great for a 15 year old cat. Thus, Gracie needed to find a new home. We were lucky to find a new "mom" for her, in a friend of mine whom I worked with in the cognition lab over the summer.

Gracie adjusted pretty well to the new development, and was a pretty big fan of Caitlyn (as you can see).
However, more moving and new developments required yet another home for Gracie...and this time I didn't have any more options :(
Now, I'm personally a big fan of pet shelters (particularly no-kill shelters) for pets. However, after having volunteered at one, I have a pretty good idea of what kind of cat gets adopted, and which ones end up living out their lives in the shelter, never really getting the attention they need. The fact of the matter is that there is no short supply of adorable kittens. And unlike a puppy, kittens and grown cats need about the same level of attention. So naturally, older cats get the short end of the stick.

So after having a serious conversation with my roommates and landlord, I decided to permanently adopt her myself.

Cats are said to be sort of unintelligent when compared to other animals (like dogs). But after having Gracie, I'm just not sure that's true. She made the adjustment to the new place beautifully, and seemed genuinely grateful and relieved to be there.

She has also adjusted extraordinarily well to having three human roommates (something she has never been accustomed to). Immediately upon meeting each of them, she has actually run up and very politely introduced herself, before flipping over on her back so they can pet her. This has been a shockingly easy adjustment for both of us. And she seems very happy to be back with her original family.

Gracie isn't really my "kitty" anymore. Her coat had gotten dull with age. Her eyes don't see as well as they once did, and are less vivid. She's fatter, slower, less agile, and even a little less playful. But she's a great cat. She's social, she loves people, and I've loved coming home to her every day this week, and having a little company while studying at night.

Happy cat day!

Colorado Part 3 -- Pike's Peak and Mt. Princeton HotSprings

Welcome to more vacation pictures :)

Last week I shared the mental war that happened in my brain before jumping off a rock into the Arkansas River. At the time I didn't have any pictures to show you, but recently the rafting pictures were uploaded, and now I get to display my experience in all its glory...

It's so awesome!

For my final Colorado post I wanted to share my first official mountain climbing experience.

Pike's Peak is also known as America's Mountain -- apparently this is because it is was the inspiration for the "purple mountain majesty" lyric in America the Beautiful, but I happen to think it's America's mountain because instead of hiking and climbing the mountain, Pike's Peak is accessible by car :)

That being said, the harrowing journey up Pike's Peak is not for the faint of heart. There are almost no guard rails, and the road is very close to the edge of the mountain, making the trip up look as though you are perpetually about to fall over the edge at any moment. In fact, due to the inherent lack of safety during this drive, you are required to have your breaks checked before getting on the road! It is also recommended to go as early in the morning as possible...this is to avoid the bad weather that typically rolls in around noon. 

Despite our fear of the road's edge, we braved it a few times to step out of the car and walk around (capturing some pictures along the way). This is my favorite one...

covered in mountain dew! 

Before we knew it, plants like these dissipated, and we were closer to clouds than the tree line.  once we were at the top (and got accustomed to the major change in elevation) it was time to explore a few of the slopes extending from the peak. Those slopes consist mostly of piles of red boulders like these... 

While climbing on the slopes, I lost my footing and caught myself with my knee, bruising my knee and calf so badly, it took about a month to heal property and for the knot in my leg to smooth out. Although I wasn't in any real danger, falling down a mountain isn't fun, and I'm pretty thankful we weren't on the side of the mountain where loose footing would have resulted in a much worse accident. 

After my accident, Eric and I decided to head back to the summit and grab a picture for a little more proof of our mountain adventure...

And we indulged in some Pike's Peak homemade donuts (they are apparently a tradition -- I was unaware of this). I'm just going to assume that an major increase in elevation doesn't do wonders for the deep frier. They look a little wonky, but tasted great. 

Another highlight from this trip involved finding a colorado gem that wasn't in colorado springs.
On the night we climbed Pike's Peak we had dinner at a very nice restaurant called Rocky Mountain Brewery. There we had a waitress who told us to check out Mnt. Princeton hot springs at some point on our trip.

Mnt. Princeton was a bit of a drive from our campsite (about an hour and a half) but it was a drive we were willing to make for more awesome natural mountain treasures.
The hot springs are owned by the Mnt. Princeton resort, so unfortunately you have to pay a handsome sum to experience magma-heated water. But because they are privately owned, they are beautifully kept, and the resort engineered a couple of ways to enjoy the water.

The resort built several large pools near the river housing the springs. They fill these pools with water from the river and water from the hot springs to create the perfect temperature. The water is constantly flowing in, so it doesn't need to be heated and it doesn't need to be treated by chemicals...it's essentially a very slow moving river.

The other way you can experience the springs are to visit the river itself.

The faster, shallow river itself is very cold. But on the bank of the river are shallow pools constructed from rocks (pictured above) and these pools serve as mini natural hot tubs. Some of the cold river water seeps between the rocks, making the temperature of the magma-heated water manageable to the touch. The result is the perfectly calm natural hot spring. The temperature is even semi-adjustable! Different parts of the pool are different temperatures depending on how close you are to the river, and digging yourself deeper into the sand will make the water warmer.

It was a perfect night to close our Colorado adventure.

I hope someday I'll get the chance to go back. I would be lucky to stay in the shadow of the Rocky Mountain range again, swim in the rivers, ride the horses, hike in the gorges and look out for bears. Until next time...

Colorado Part 2 - why your brain hates heights

You didn't think I'd forgotten that I hadn't shared every last one of my vacation pictures with you yet, did you??
And yet, that'll have to come later, because this post is going to be exclusively about how weird the brain is, and why it doesn't want you to jump to your death.


(remember how scary it was when Jenny is about to jump to her death in Forrest Gump, then panics and climbs down??)

Colorado changed my perspective on the United States -- I really do think it's one of the most beautiful places in the country and I would be so lucky to get to live out there for a while (I hear Boulder actually has some important cognitive research currently going on right now :)..just kidding...for now).

Speaking of cognition, the brain is an extremely interesting organ, which if you read this blog I'm sure you already knew.
Have you ever tried to navigate a frightening or difficult scenario and noticed that even if you can rationalize it, your body still has a visceral reaction to the event? It's easy to delineate the feelings -- the visceral reaction is felt in your body (heart racing/sweaty palms) while the rational part is clearly taking place in your head. However, if you've ever taken bio or anatomy 101, you know that the panic and fear you feel during in a haunted house, or a horror movie is still coming from the same organ that rationalizes why you shouldn't have the fear in the first place. Weird!


seems a little two-faced, really...

A particular event in Colorado caused me to think about this a little more.
Our gang found ourselves rafting in the Arkansas River on the second day of our trip. About half way through the journey, we stopped at a spot where the river was a bit slower than it had been so far. This was our "break", where we were given a chance to swim across the river and climb up the rock formation on the other side. I was unaware of the rules associated with this rock climbing, so it came as a bit of a shock when I prepared to climb down and was prevented from doing so by the rafting instructor, who was yelling up to me that in fact, to exit the rock formation in a safe manner, we were all going to need to jump off. Into the swirling, churning river below.

Two things are happening at this point in my mind. The first is happening in the more "primitive" non-rational part of my brain: it's telling me that I'm 15 feet (or more) above the surface of the river, and really NOT interested in jumping. This is the part of my brain responsible for making sure that I don't perform motor actions that will kill me cannot be any clearer in its strong "anti-jump" chemical signals rushing to the rest of my bodily organs. However, the rational frontal cortex doesn't want me to hurt myself climbing down slippery rocks, which the messages from my visual cortex are telling me look fine, and not that unsafe. The rational part, however, understands that sometimes you need to trust the people with the best opinion (i.e. the instructor in this case). Needless to say, a mental battle is raging inside my head, with serious physiological consequences (mostly panicked crying and the strong desire to throw up and/or curl up in a ball).

The place where the instructor is pointing me to jump is an area of relatively calm water right next to the rocky place where we climbed out. This is where some of my experience shaped my more primitive brain's panic about jumping. I grew up in Michigan around lakes. Everyone knows that when you jump in a lake, you need to jump off of a dock or boat. Why? because the water is typically most shallow where it meets land (the shoreline), and jumping from any height to 1 inch of water is going to hurt. Years of experience have shaped my own visual perception and what certain images mean for the decisions my brain will allow me to make. In other words, we aren't born with a fear of heights, or a fear of jumping next to dry land, but after experience our non-rational brain learns to make associations with visual images and danger (among other things), and this results in the unease that we feel in these situations.

My personal experience with the world drives an instinct is to jump to the middle of the river, where I "think" the water will be deepest (and therefore most safe). Our instructor assures me that the place he is indicating is safest in this river because the entire thing is all roughly the same depth, including the parts where water meets land, but this area is the calmest. The tissues initially responsible for dealing with signals coming from the visual cortex are not convinced. So who wins?

Well, eventually the rational side wins. I jump to what part of my brain is convinced is my death. Which is why, I imagine, its panicked protests are silenced as soon as my feet leave the cliff. It was really amazing, as soon as I leapt off the rock and began plummeting toward the water, all the fear brewing in my mind was gone. It felt like flying.

And naturally, I landed safely in the very deep and safe river, surfacing almost instantly to find Eric helping me into the boat.

The visceral reactions you feel in your body are there for a reason. Your mind has a vested interest in keeping you alive -- but sometimes, a rare scenario comes along in which it's ok for the reasonable side to win the fight every once in a while.
It leads to come cool experiences :)

Adventures in Indiana

Some of my "adventures in grad school" have involved attending my friends' weddings.
I can't believe how fast time flies! One minute I was going to football games with my college friends and the next minute they're walking down the aisle.

Crazy.

That being said, I have sincerely enjoyed attending the weddings of my friends (and even playing roles in them -- like wedding singer!).

A good friend of mine from college (ALLIE!) got married in July and promptly moved to Indiana with her new husband. Naturally, by September I was due for a visit, so this weekend I hit the open road and drove to their new home for a weekend of fun and relaxation.

Right when I arrived, the Bernards had a delicious lunch waiting for me, as well as a tour of their new place (although it was severely lacking in hot tubs, a major change from the old house where we were previously hosting our girly nights. hehe step it up guys! just kidding).

After walking around and getting a chance to explore their band new "home town' (and grab some Dairy Queen), the three of us headed out to Indianapolis for dinner at Scotty's Brewhouse -- which I highly recommend for anyone finding themselves looking for a fun place to grab a burger and craft beer (which is pretty much everyone, right?? haha Grand Rapids will forever spoil me where those are concerned).

My burger choice was an award winner called the confused buffalo. The buffalo was clearly so confused because it couldn't focus on anything besides how spicy it was...this burger was crazy delicious but probably the spiciest thing I've ever ordered at a restaurant (including the time I had "medium" Indian food when I was in England). At one point I actually had to order a glass of milk, which I KNOW looked weird but what else could I do?? I couldn't feel my lower lip half way through dinner.

After our meal we got a chance to wander around the city, which is beautiful, especially at night...

When we got home, Allie and I tried to stay up long enough for a movie, but only lasted about 15 minutes before totally crashing.

On Sunday morning we got a chance to ride bikes after breakfast, and I got to see more of the new town. There seems to be a lot to do outside, and I am a little jealous of the access their new place has to a bike trail (I can't ride a bike anywhere in DeKalb without taking it on the highway for a significantly long distance which probably isn't the safest idea ever).
All in all it was a wonderful departure from my busy grad school life (although here we are, Sunday night, and back to the grind).

Love these guys :) and their gracious hospitality for the weekend...

Hopefully the next time I see them, we'll all be back in the mitten again!

Colorado part 1

It's tuesday night. After an intense day of teaching, reading, writing about said reading, and home improvement projects (I fixed my shower!), I found myself at 9pm with some *gasp* time on my hands before bed! I settled into bed and started perusing Netflix for free time options, and came across what is in my opinion, one of the best films of all time...

"There Will Be Blood"

As the movie opened upon the rocky western landscape I was reminded of my recent trip to Colorado and suddenly realized that I still needed to write an entry about it! So as I sit in my bed enjoying these well deserved moments of relaxation, I will use this time to share the first part of our trip to the Rockies and report on some of our adventures while the infamous Daniel Plainview offers the Sunday family "quail prices" in the background.

As soon as I was out of the "second year exam woods", five of my very best friends came to rescue me for a week. We rented a brand new Ford Expedition, and headed west toward the Mississippi River.

After a couple of hours, we stopped for gas, and splashed our feet in the Mississippi!

Piling back into the car, we settled into another 12 hours into the car. Most of us slept.

But we stopped for dinner in Des Moines, Iowa for some German food (and refreshment!)

Before we knew it, those of us snoozing in the back of the car were waking up at around 6am to the sweet smell of mountain air and the most beautiful red rock canyons any of us had ever seen.

Our family owned campsite was beautiful and quick to give us all the information we needed to set up our home away from home. By the time we'd set the tents up, it was time for a brief nap and then some midday hiking (you know, so we could adjust to the elevation). 

In the early afternoon we decided to go hiking at "Seven Falls". As you've probably guessed from the name, this park had seven waterfalls. A 200 step staircase followed the falls. Upon reaching the top of the stairs, a wooded trail began, which led to the top of the canyon. 

There was a good photo op at the top of the falls, so we took it :)

The next morning, we went horseback riding through the Garden of the Gods.

Garden of the Gods is probably the most beautiful place I've ever been. Everything is colorful: the bright red rocks, and red dirt, the dark green trees. We rode the horses over a stretch of about five miles, and even galloped UP a rock formation (like a cowboy). I promise you, this vacation could not have been any more amazing, and it was only the first day.

The next day we went to the Arkansas River for some white water rafting. Naturally, cameras were unwise on this adventure, but it too was an incredible experience. Our group actually went over a class 5 rapid! Luckily we work well as a team and everyone managed to stay in the boat...

We did have some professional pictures taken, and those will hopeful be up soon. In the meantime, I'm starting to feel my long day. Part 2 is coming soon!

Moving

It seems that lately there has been a lot of moving in my life...which seems a little ridiculous for not having changed my own personal address lately (I'm still in the middle of the corn, worry not).

However, two very important people in my life have moved recently, and they both needed my help! One of which was my own mother. It involved a lot of driving and a lot of hard decisions, but  I was rewarded handsomely with some extravagant furniture that almost looks out of place in my "good-will/salvation-army chic" bedroom.

By the way, do you think my mom has enough photo albums?

On friday, Eric and I picked up a u-haul in Michigan and headed over to my former home town to help my mom pack up some important belongings, and take some of said belongings with us.

Packing a u haul is like playing Tetris.... it involves maneuvering awkward shapes around until they fit together, and after about 20 minutes it's really boring.
We had a few minor moving casualties (jammed finger, blood blister, and snagged clothing), but now that all is said and done, I have a large bed and gorgeous dining room table at my place in the corn fields. Pictures to follow.

I'm actually pretty psyched about the table. It seats eight. Stay posted for a dinner party invite!

Milestone Moment: The Second Year Exam

As far as I know, every graduate program pretty much everywhere has a competency exam of some kind. They are big tests that (in addition to your own research and graduate coursework) bring you one step closer to your masters and eventual doctoral degree. For the Cognitive Psychology program here at NIU, those competency exams are referred to as the dreaded "second year exam".

This is how the SYE game is played...

At the beginning of the summer you get a big long reading list, which is segmented into four groups. Each segment on the reading list contains readings that will be helpful to answering a question on the exam. You are to pick three of the four segments on the list, and read all the publications and books throughout the summer, along the way finding other academic papers that seem relevant. However, while you have this reading list, you do NOT have the questions you need to answer. The strategy is to pay close attention to each reading, take careful notes, and try to find other related publications (and hope for the best).

It's a harrowing summer journey through scientific literature, and much like any other journey of epic proportions, requires a journal to record findings along the way.

 Lewis and Clark's Journal

My SYE journal...

Journals, it turns out, don't change very much.

Part of what makes summer reading hard, is that it requires you to have a high level of self-regulation and goal directed behavior without the support of intermediary deadlines...while the sun is shining and I'd rather go swimming. In other words, I had to approach the reading list like I was teaching my own course to myself. Two weeks would cover certain readings, another two weeks focused on something else. The goals were hard to stick to. Mostly because I had no pressure to stick to them. Furthermore, by August I was having a hard time remembering what I had read in June!
Needless to say, the week before the exams were distributed, I was feeling on-edge.

After getting the reading list for the summer, the faculty of the cognitive program distribute the second year exams. These are four essay questions, of which you are to select the three that match the segments of the reading list you covered. From there, you get 7 days to address the questions, each of which warrant anywhere from 12-15 pages each, and encompass both the readings you did during the summer AND the readings you were supposed to find independently. If you don't address the question adequately, you have to edit heavily, and sometimes even rewrite one, two, or all three in order to pass the exam.

I'll be honest, it's the worst and best week ever. Psychology is lucky that I like it so much, or that would have been the end of my time here. I learned much more than I ever have in those 7 days of wrestling with the material and organizing it coherently. Furthermore, in order to really focus, the idea is that you lock yourself away like a hermit for the full 7 days as to not be distracted by the outside world and focus as much as possible on the task at hand.
For me, this is physically and emotionally impossible. So I cheated, and took a couple of walks...

Got some Chinese food, called Eric, and even wrote one of the papers in a Starbucks by my house. Did all of these things make me feel guilty? Yep. But I don't regret these little distractions, because two AMAZING things happened after that week of exam writing! The first was that when it was all over, my five best friends in the world came and picked me up in a giant SUV, and we went camping in Colorado Springs for a week.

P.S I cannot WAIT to write all about our trip, and be that annoying blogger that shares all the vacation pictures. Be warned. Here's a preview -- this is us at Seven Falls.

The second was that two weeks after coming back from Colorado, I found out that I PASSED!! AND I DON'T HAVE TO REWRITE ANY OF THEM!

which is a massive relief, because I have a lot to do, and rewriting 15 page papers just wasn't going to fit very well into my schedule of teaching, research, and coursework...and full nights of sleep :)

 ...ok full nights of sleep for now.